Caption Contest Winners!

Dan Krokos has made his picks for the Caption Contest!

The runner-up, and recipient of a prize pack of “writing goodies”, is Penny

Hollywood has not been kind to Babe. Piglet stars, child stars, they are one in the same, once the cameras stop rolling. After an unsuccessful stint in the swine porn industry, he became severely addicted to alcohol, and now he wanders aimlessly from yard to yard, searching trash cans, hoping to find dregs inside of empty cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon, his preferred beer.

The winner, and recipient of a copy of “The Future of Us”, by Jay Archer and Carolyn Mackler,  is Eric Satchwill

“This isn’t the market,” thought Terrance, unsure if he was relieved or disappointed.

Congratulations to Penny and Eric. Be sure to drop me an email so we can figure out how to get your prizes out to you.

And finally, Dan has a new website/blog. Check it out…he’s giving away lots of books!

“Worst First” Winners!

Jillian Kent has picked the winners of the “Worst First” contest!

Before I announce them, I want to thank all who participated. This contest was lots of fun, and I for one am glad I didn’t have to pick the winner because they all were so great. Oh wait, I mean they all were so horrible :).

So, without further ado, the runner-up, and winner of Jillian Kent’s debut novel, Secrets of the Heart, is…

Wendy Lawrence!

According to my watch, which I like to refer to as my miniature chartreuse chronograph, it was the best, and perhaps the superlative, (even the transcendent?), of times; and simultaneously (although I don’t know if this is by coincidence or not) it was the worst–most atrocious–of times.

(Check out Wendy’s blog here)

And now, onto the big one.

The winner of the “Worst First” contest, and recipient of a first page critique by Jillian is…

Leanne Shirtliffe!

Together, Ethel and Sylvester were a galvanized cell…he was the reduction cell and she the oxidation cell; together, when their batteries charged, they became the Energizer Bunny, except–in spite of their furriness–neither of them were pink, at least not bubble gum pink.

(Check out Leanne’s blogs, Ironic Mom and Wordbitches)

 

Congratulations Wendy and Leanne, and be sure to contact me for information on receiving your prize!

“Worst First” Contest Open for Submissions!

Before we begin, I am beyond excited to introduce you to the judge of the “Worst First” contest!

Jillian Kent writes historical fiction and is represented by literary agent Rachelle Gardner.

Jillian has generously agreed to offer GREAT PRIZES to the first and second place winners! She’ll critique the first page of the winner’s manuscript, and the second place winner gets a signed copy of her debut novel.

So, without further ado, here’s Jillian…

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Hi Everyone!
 
Christi has been kind enough to invite me here so I want to answer as many questions for you as I can. So ask away. Nothing is off limits, but I may choose not to answer it if I think it’s something that I shouldn’t put out there for the whole world to read.
 
There was a combination of things that occurred in my life that led to the love of historical romance. I discovered the poem, “The Highwayman” by Alfred Noyes at a young age. You can read it if you are not familiar with it on my website at www.jilliankent.com It’s in the public domain.
 
I went to England the first semester of my senior year of college. Loved all of Great Britain. I lived and studied with other students from Bethany College where I went to school.

I read historical romance novels in my twenties and said, “I could do that.”
 
I am a research addict. I struggle a lot to stop researching and keep writing. Now that I don’t have the freedom to write at a slow pace (I’m really slow), I have to let some of the research go and just write. When I get to something I don’t know I leave spaces and notes to myself in a different font or color. I’m still trying to find the balance.
 
The way to publication has not been easy. I decided to begin studying the craft when my first child was born and that was twenty-one years ago. You must reach deep inside yourself and find out what it is you want related to writing. WHAT DO YOU WANT?  Do you want money, fame, a life-long career? This is a question only you can answer. I have to tell you that once you get published it’s a very busy time. You’ll have twice as much to do as you think you will.

So what are you thinking about today?

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If you have any questions for Jillian simply leave them in the comments section of this post. I know for a fact she’s generous and kind with writing information, so please, ask away!

Now, on to the “Worst First” contest!

Entrants shall create, on purpose, the worst opening line to a novel.

One sentence (fifty word limit).

The use of commas, semi-colons, ellipsis, and/or hyphens is highly encouraged.  

All genres accepted.

Let’s keep it clean. No sex, extreme violence, or cursing.

Enter your sentence in the comments section of this post.

Entry deadline is Saturday at 11:59pm (Pacific Standard Time)

Winner will be announced when Jillian completes judging.   

(The “Worst First” was inspired by this annual writing contest.)

 

Fun Contest Alert: Get Your Worst Ready!

Dust off your trunk novel(s) fellow writers!

(Well, at least the first page.)

This Wednesday, I’ve got Jillian Kent (represented by literary agent Rachelle Gardner) coming on my blog to judge a super fun contest.

In the spirit of this annual writing contest, I’ve decided to host something similar.

Create your “Worst First Line” and Jillian will judge which one was the “best worst”. In other words you create, on purpose, a really bad opening line to a (pretend) novel.

(All genres accepted. Word limit is 50 words…and yes, I’ll be counting :) )

And there are PRIZES!!!!!!
 
Jillian has agreed to critique the first 250 words of the winner’s manuscript, and the second place winner gets a signed copy of her debut novel.

She appears this Wednesday so get your worst ready!

Spreading the word about this super fun contest will not help you win, but I’d really appreciate it :D

And the Winners Are…

We have winners!

I’d LIKE to say that the judges (my six-year-old twins) took this very seriously. I’d LIKE to say that they thought each caption over at length, discussed in great detail the subtle nuances and deeper meaning of each entry, and then after serious thought CALMLY selected the winner.

Well, that’s how I envisioned the judging portion going in my mind.

But, they’re six. 

So here’s how it really went down…

The judges, fueled by waffles and far too many cartoons, were herded into the room at 7:00am (PST). Once they finally stopped jabbering about our upcoming trip to the grocery store and who got to push the cart this time because other one got to push last time and could we buy their favorite cereal and could the dog go with and why does brother get to sit closer to mommy and why does sister get to hold the cat, I explained my above method for how they should judge the contest. 

Blank stare from one and the other one made a run for it.

I quickly re-evaluated and we ended up settling for having me read each comment out loud, and them giving a “funny” or “not funny” response. Then, we would tally up the winners. Also, it should be noted that neither I, nor the Dear Hubby, influenced their decisions in any way. This was truly judged by them :D.

The sink picture winner was chosen quickly, and without hesitation, by the judges. In fact, they thought it was so funny they began dancing around the room while chanting it at the top of their lungs.

Congratulations to Pat Ocken!

“Does this boat go any faster if we pump this handle?”

The judging of the cat in shopping cart picture led to massive disagreements over what was “funny” and what wasn’t. I read all the comments and then ended up reading them all again. Some garnered giggles, others full on belly laughs, and in the end we have a tie and a runner-up…

Congratulations to Florence Fois and Monica Gudlewski!

“Attention shoppers: put something PURRfect in your shopping carts today!” (Monica’s entry)

“Do you believe my luck? I got a free shopping cart when I bought the kitty.” (Florence’s entry)

Runner-up goes to M. Howalt

*sigh* “Those huge, two-legged, furless kittens …”

And now we’re off to the store so the judges can pick some items for the winners. I believe Play-dough and a cat have been mentioned as prizes.

Congrats to the winners and thank you to all who entered. This has been great fun!

Caption Contest! Winners get Prizes!

The Captioning Contest is officially open! (Click here for full contest details)

Please, enter captions for BOTH photos in the comments section of this post.

Photo 1…Sink

Photo 2…Shopping

Don’t forget to check back on Saturday, April 30th to see if the judges selected your caption as the winner!