Today I am very pleased to have Rebecca Riter as my very special guest.
Hi. My name is Rebecca Riter. I am 11 years old. My favorite color is green. I am a fifth grader whose hobbies are; gymnastics, writing, drawing, and baseball. I began my writing at the young age of five. I have saved almost all of my work; this has been difficult because our moves number more than the birthdays I’ve celebrated.
I like to write short, strange, random stories. Some of my stories start as writing prompts, feelings I get, or a random inspiration. Journaling has helped me to get through both of my Dad’s yearlong deployments to Iraq.
Sometimes, I find it easier to write my thoughts down than to say them out loud. I find it challenging to work with a lot of noise, although I do most of my writing at school. Writing helps me to get away from life and express myself with a pencil.
Rebecca has been working on a short story and has bravely agreed to share it with the readers of this blog. She would like to know your thoughts on her story, so please share your constructive critique of this story in the comments section.
One bright, sunny day I was out picking mums. I had about a dozen when I saw a raspberry bush. I set my flowers on the ground and I walked over to the lonely bush. I picked off a raspberry, wiped it with my shirt, and put it in my mouth. It was delicious. I felt the bumps coursing down my throat and rubbing against my tongue. I began to crave more and more of them. So I ate every single raspberry on the bush… except for the very last one stuck in the thorny center. I reached my arm in and grabbed it. I stopped to pull the thorns out of my arm. I looked at the cuts on my arm for a second and thought, “Oh well” and stuffed the raspberry in my mouth without looking at it again… which was a huge mistake.
My freckles disappeared and turned into raspberry bumps. Then my craving grew even more intense. I started turning purple and pink. Uh oh! I soon realized that I was turning into a raspberry! Then my nose disappeared. I thought, “Wait! I can go get help!” I started to run but my legs disappeared. My hair fell from my head and lay on the ground like a wig. I saw someone coming so I began to wave my arms around in the air. I saw their eyes lock with mine but just at that moment, my arms and eyes disappeared. They started running toward me in utter shock. The person came to find just a small raspberry on the ground. I had shrunk! They left and walked toward a large treehouse. Then without thinking… I ate myself.
You may be wondering, “If she ate herself, then how did she write this story?” Well, the girl in this story is my great, great, great, grandmother. I found out about it because my great, great, great grandmother’s little sister was hiding behind the bush trying to steal her mums and the story was passed down from generation to generation. My mom told me. Still confused? I wrote this story for my great, great, great grandmother.
Now that you’ve been introduced to this extraordinary young lady, please share your constructive critique, your best piece of writing advice, your favorite writing resource, or your encouraging words in the comments section.